Saturday, 26 January 2013


When I woke on 23 January 2013, I remembered what I feel is the historic day of two days before, when the images pinned to my mental calendar to help me remember every day that passes suddenly became more real. In my mind's eye I could enter into them to experience that event again - and from it other events of the same day - and not simply view it as a snapshot.

My thought on waking was that something special had happened here in this apartment where I had been holed up working on my own for just over a week. The thought came unbidden: "I have found myself again".

It was a moment of clarity, of recognition and snapping back into place.

I think we are to some extent the sum of our experiences and so remembering those experiences should perhaps bring understanding.

At the same time, I feel there is something at the core of who I am that is very much me. Travelling back through experiences as a wind back the years of my mental calendar (even if the years prior to beginning this process are very patchy), I still see myself.

There is something real there, that does not change, just discovers new things.

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