Wednesday, 2 May 2012

Adrenalin junky

Faced with an ordeal on 19 April 2012, I found this process of remembering helped to stop me becoming more stressed than is healthy.

As I wrote yesterday, having the clear vision that this was a day on my mental calendar that would pass into history put it into perspective.

Linked to this was the realisation that this day would be one of the great jutting monoliths on my mental calendar. A landmark that stands out. It is a date etched in my memory in many of its aspects simply because of its significance.

There is a certain pleasure in that, given other days are marked by mundane memory tags, such as completing my first 10 km run since getting back into the habit (24 April 2012), or watching a film about the sinking of the Titanic on the anniversary of the event (15 April 2012).

Taking an international flight to stand up in front of a hostile crowd to make an argument they did not want to hear - and I knew the majority would reject - would have to be significant.

As it loomed before me and I prepared for it, the fact it would be a memorable day made it strangely welcome. Perhaps being scared and forcing myself to be brave for a higher purpose made me feel more alive.

We that I thought I want more special days.

They can be significant in more pleasurable ways, but days that break with the mundane, push the boundaries, cause a rush of adrenalin, are live affirming.

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