I've commented before on how I am sometimes niggled by my failure to remember the image tag for a particular day - even if I can remember some of the things that happened.
So it was this morning, running back through the past days when I woke up early and wanted something to occupy me to send me off to sleep again. Two days evaded me: 12 April and 17 April 2012.
I told myself to remember the dates and the images would come at some point, probably when I had properly woken up.
The first date was a Thursday and I knew I was in the office and collected my wife from her evening class, but there was something else special. It came to me as if my memory was saying, "Oh, here's that thing you were asking about earlier".
A television crew had come to the office to film an interview. So not a minor thing, and hopefully something that it now more firmly pinned to the date.
The 17th had a certain feel to it. It was a busy week, the week of my international trip and horrible meeting on the 19th. That's what brought it back to me in the end. We visited friends on 17 April to arrange a lift for my wife as I wouldn't be able to collect her from her course.
So that's it. All 142 days since I began this process are accounted for.
Monday, 7 May 2012
Friday, 4 May 2012
Two days at a time
I am now using a new technique for reviewing the memory tags for past days.
I scroll back through the past ten days or so, then switch to remembering the image pinned to my mental calendar for the same day of the week back through the nearly five months since I began this process. What I have added is reviewing the day before too.
So today, for example, I remember all the Fridays and Thursdays.
Tomorrow I will go back through all the Saturdays and Fridays.
The common day in the review from one day to the next is providing a useful burst of clarity.
I scroll back through the past ten days or so, then switch to remembering the image pinned to my mental calendar for the same day of the week back through the nearly five months since I began this process. What I have added is reviewing the day before too.
So today, for example, I remember all the Fridays and Thursdays.
Tomorrow I will go back through all the Saturdays and Fridays.
The common day in the review from one day to the next is providing a useful burst of clarity.
Thursday, 3 May 2012
Puddles
This is a particularly satisfying memory tag, pinned to my mental calendar for 29 April 2012: puddles.
The word invokes three images. The first is stepping in a puddle as I exit the car at a garden centre we have driven to in the rain. This has been a sodden week of rain.
The second is running past the puddles on the path by the river as I complete my first 15 km run, reaching the landmark bridge first achieved on 24 April 2012, but returning the same route instead of completing the circuit.
The third is again encountering a puddle as I get out of the car in the evening to walk to meet my wife at church. She went early while I was out running.
Puddles. Three images.
The word invokes three images. The first is stepping in a puddle as I exit the car at a garden centre we have driven to in the rain. This has been a sodden week of rain.
The second is running past the puddles on the path by the river as I complete my first 15 km run, reaching the landmark bridge first achieved on 24 April 2012, but returning the same route instead of completing the circuit.
The third is again encountering a puddle as I get out of the car in the evening to walk to meet my wife at church. She went early while I was out running.
Puddles. Three images.
Wednesday, 2 May 2012
Adrenalin junky
Faced with an ordeal on 19 April 2012, I found this process of remembering helped to stop me becoming more stressed than is healthy.
As I wrote yesterday, having the clear vision that this was a day on my mental calendar that would pass into history put it into perspective.
Linked to this was the realisation that this day would be one of the great jutting monoliths on my mental calendar. A landmark that stands out. It is a date etched in my memory in many of its aspects simply because of its significance.
There is a certain pleasure in that, given other days are marked by mundane memory tags, such as completing my first 10 km run since getting back into the habit (24 April 2012), or watching a film about the sinking of the Titanic on the anniversary of the event (15 April 2012).
Taking an international flight to stand up in front of a hostile crowd to make an argument they did not want to hear - and I knew the majority would reject - would have to be significant.
As it loomed before me and I prepared for it, the fact it would be a memorable day made it strangely welcome. Perhaps being scared and forcing myself to be brave for a higher purpose made me feel more alive.
We that I thought I want more special days.
They can be significant in more pleasurable ways, but days that break with the mundane, push the boundaries, cause a rush of adrenalin, are live affirming.
As I wrote yesterday, having the clear vision that this was a day on my mental calendar that would pass into history put it into perspective.
Linked to this was the realisation that this day would be one of the great jutting monoliths on my mental calendar. A landmark that stands out. It is a date etched in my memory in many of its aspects simply because of its significance.
There is a certain pleasure in that, given other days are marked by mundane memory tags, such as completing my first 10 km run since getting back into the habit (24 April 2012), or watching a film about the sinking of the Titanic on the anniversary of the event (15 April 2012).
Taking an international flight to stand up in front of a hostile crowd to make an argument they did not want to hear - and I knew the majority would reject - would have to be significant.
As it loomed before me and I prepared for it, the fact it would be a memorable day made it strangely welcome. Perhaps being scared and forcing myself to be brave for a higher purpose made me feel more alive.
We that I thought I want more special days.
They can be significant in more pleasurable ways, but days that break with the mundane, push the boundaries, cause a rush of adrenalin, are live affirming.
Tuesday, 1 May 2012
All things must pass
And so 19 April 2012 has come and gone. It was a day that loomed before me for some time.
A day involving international travel to a hostile work meeting. One where the best outcome was to come away knowing I had at least said my piece, even if this had been disregarded for the most self-serving of motives.
It is difficult not to spend time anticipating such a day and running through different scenarios. That is not a bad thing in itself, I find, as this is also called planning. But it can be tinged with adrenalin and become distracting.
At such times I reminded myself that 19 April 2012 is just another day on my mental calendar and on the 20th it would be history.
When the day actually arrived, I told myself to enjoy it, rather than wish it to be over. I would be flying in and out of a beautiful country. I had worked out what I needed to say and thought through possible reactions.
At the same time, I reminded myself of a mantra from my early twenties when much in life had been a challenge: something will happen.
The day would pass.
So it has.
A day involving international travel to a hostile work meeting. One where the best outcome was to come away knowing I had at least said my piece, even if this had been disregarded for the most self-serving of motives.
It is difficult not to spend time anticipating such a day and running through different scenarios. That is not a bad thing in itself, I find, as this is also called planning. But it can be tinged with adrenalin and become distracting.
At such times I reminded myself that 19 April 2012 is just another day on my mental calendar and on the 20th it would be history.
When the day actually arrived, I told myself to enjoy it, rather than wish it to be over. I would be flying in and out of a beautiful country. I had worked out what I needed to say and thought through possible reactions.
At the same time, I reminded myself of a mantra from my early twenties when much in life had been a challenge: something will happen.
The day would pass.
So it has.
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