It has been a busy few days.
This presents interesting challenges in this process of remembering every day that passes.
With so much going on, I am selecting my memory tags with care. I want one, or at most two, images pinned to each day of my mental calendar and so they have to connect to key aspects of the day.
So for 27 March 2012 the image is sitting at a picnic table as my wife waves to me. I am working on my laptop. My wife has just arrived with my parents and nephew. This reminds me that I was able to meet up with them at a park around lunchtime between meetings. It is a genuine event, not a construct. I never invent the image, but select it.
Another consideration is I can choose the feelings to associate with the day. On 26 March 2012, my wife and I spoke at a conference. My wife was speaking in her second language and became a bit lost in her notes. I was willing her to do well from the side of the room. My memory tag is someone coming up to her afterwards to discuss her talk. She had made a good impression. I want to encourage her in future and this positive memory is much more valuable than the nervousness I shared with her.
There is a danger of losing past days when too much is going on. I didn't have the time or spare energy to carry out the reviews that are part of my usual routine. When I was able, there were blanks that took a while to fill in. I'm not too concerned about this as long as I can fill in the blanks when I do have the time and energy. I don't want this process to be a distraction from living.
The final point is that being able to remember these full days is important. I am better equipped to do so now.
Friday, 30 March 2012
Monday, 26 March 2012
Something is missing
I am now well used to the feeling when I am missing the memory tag that I had chosen to remember a particular day.
When looking back, sometimes I find the day is blank on my internal calendar, even if I can remember some of the other aspects of the day. Sooner or later the image I had pinned to that day comes back to me.
That feeling of something being missed served me in good stead last weekend. My wife and I were leaving home for a conference, planning to call in on my parents on the way past.
As we sat in the car I had that same feeling of something missing.
I knew I had turned everything off that I should be off and locked up. I was certain we hadn't forgotten anything and I resisted the urge to give in to uncertainty and check.
But this time, I recognised my mind was telling me that I was not remembering the full story and I should go back. What I needed to see was not the things my conscious mind told me were fine.
So I went.
On the doorstep lay my wife's leather jacket. I had dropped it when I locked the door.
I went back into the flat as well, just in case. I had been correct to believe there was nothing wrong there.
This is an important lesson. If I had been more alert, I would have realised that my wife's jacket was missing when I placed mine on the parcel shelf of the car.
I did not realise consciously, but this process of remembering has made me more sensitive to when I am not remembering what I need to. And to trust that feeling.
When looking back, sometimes I find the day is blank on my internal calendar, even if I can remember some of the other aspects of the day. Sooner or later the image I had pinned to that day comes back to me.
That feeling of something being missed served me in good stead last weekend. My wife and I were leaving home for a conference, planning to call in on my parents on the way past.
As we sat in the car I had that same feeling of something missing.
I knew I had turned everything off that I should be off and locked up. I was certain we hadn't forgotten anything and I resisted the urge to give in to uncertainty and check.
But this time, I recognised my mind was telling me that I was not remembering the full story and I should go back. What I needed to see was not the things my conscious mind told me were fine.
So I went.
On the doorstep lay my wife's leather jacket. I had dropped it when I locked the door.
I went back into the flat as well, just in case. I had been correct to believe there was nothing wrong there.
This is an important lesson. If I had been more alert, I would have realised that my wife's jacket was missing when I placed mine on the parcel shelf of the car.
I did not realise consciously, but this process of remembering has made me more sensitive to when I am not remembering what I need to. And to trust that feeling.
Friday, 23 March 2012
New reality
How long does it take me to meld with my location?
It seems that three months makes me well entrenched. Our new flat now feels like it is ours, perhaps helped by the visitors we have had in recent weeks, who do see it as our flat.
This morning as I snoozed, I tracked back through all my memory tags with no difficulty.
Indeed, the start date of this process of remembering every day that passes - 17 December 2011 - is no longer a cut-off as I have reclaimed most of the time back to when we left my wife's country on 19 November and have tags for most of those days until then.
The time before we left is still a blur of mixed memories, distant in space and time. But at some point I will make a project of reclaiming those days too.
This is my new reality: where I am now and being able to remember what has happened.
It seems that three months makes me well entrenched. Our new flat now feels like it is ours, perhaps helped by the visitors we have had in recent weeks, who do see it as our flat.
This morning as I snoozed, I tracked back through all my memory tags with no difficulty.
Indeed, the start date of this process of remembering every day that passes - 17 December 2011 - is no longer a cut-off as I have reclaimed most of the time back to when we left my wife's country on 19 November and have tags for most of those days until then.
The time before we left is still a blur of mixed memories, distant in space and time. But at some point I will make a project of reclaiming those days too.
This is my new reality: where I am now and being able to remember what has happened.
Thursday, 22 March 2012
Boing
Its definitely not worth worrying if a memory tag evades me when I'm reviewing the past days.
I worked late last night and was tired when I went for a run by the river this afternoon. So recalling the images pinned to my mental calendar was not taking place under the best of conditions.
I was stuck for 20 March, just last Tuesday. I remembered the day, what had happened, that I had been in a rush to leave the office because... boing! The image pinged onto the calendar.
I met my wife at a café by the river. My image for the day was chaining up my bike outside.
I worked late last night and was tired when I went for a run by the river this afternoon. So recalling the images pinned to my mental calendar was not taking place under the best of conditions.
I was stuck for 20 March, just last Tuesday. I remembered the day, what had happened, that I had been in a rush to leave the office because... boing! The image pinged onto the calendar.
I met my wife at a café by the river. My image for the day was chaining up my bike outside.
Wednesday, 21 March 2012
Eight days a week
I find it useful to think back to what I was doing this day in previous weeks, until I began this process of remembering every day that passes.
A week is a useful period of time, but it is the one aspect of the calendar that is totally arbitrary.
A year is given by the time it takes the earth to orbit the sun - and before the earth's orbit was understood, it was given by the cycle of seasons that results.
A month is given by the time it takes the moon to complete the passage of its phases, linked to its orbit of the earth.
A day is given by the time it takes the earth to revolve once on its own axis.
All were observable by all cultures.
But a week is not set in the heavens, though it is set in the old testament of the Bible of Christians and Torah of Jews.
Other civilisations have used other lengths for the cycle between a day and a month, from four to ten days, apparently.
Seven days almost fits into a lunar month four times, but not precisely enough to be a realistic explanation of its origin.
It may have more to do with our capacity to remember sets of data, which has been said to have a natural limit of seven - though plus or minus two according to some research.
The Beatles sang of eight days a week as cramming in more love than a week normally allows, but there is no clear reason why the week is not eight days. It was in ancient Rome under the nundinal system, until Emperor Constantine adopted the biblical seven days.
A week is a useful period of time, but it is the one aspect of the calendar that is totally arbitrary.
A year is given by the time it takes the earth to orbit the sun - and before the earth's orbit was understood, it was given by the cycle of seasons that results.
A month is given by the time it takes the moon to complete the passage of its phases, linked to its orbit of the earth.
A day is given by the time it takes the earth to revolve once on its own axis.
All were observable by all cultures.
But a week is not set in the heavens, though it is set in the old testament of the Bible of Christians and Torah of Jews.
Other civilisations have used other lengths for the cycle between a day and a month, from four to ten days, apparently.
Seven days almost fits into a lunar month four times, but not precisely enough to be a realistic explanation of its origin.
It may have more to do with our capacity to remember sets of data, which has been said to have a natural limit of seven - though plus or minus two according to some research.
The Beatles sang of eight days a week as cramming in more love than a week normally allows, but there is no clear reason why the week is not eight days. It was in ancient Rome under the nundinal system, until Emperor Constantine adopted the biblical seven days.
Tuesday, 20 March 2012
Not gone
Our friends from Southbeach came to visit at the weekend, one couple with their two sons staying with us in our flat, another couple camping nearby.
We cooked breakfast for everyone on Sunday 18 March 2012, then went into town, where there was a science fair.
We said our goodbyes afterwards and I returned home with my wife to the flat, the mess and the quiet.
As I washed up and put away the pots and plates, I thought back over the weekend.
Before beginning this process of remembering, I think there would have been a hint of sadness as the glow of energy and happiness of the weekend started its slow fade.
But now I realised it was different as I reviewed the day and selected the key images that would be the memory tags to pin to my internal calendar.
Adrian, four-years-old, at the science fair, where he had joyfully run from experiment to experiment, having his photograph taken dressed in a white lab coat and over-sized goggles.
Simon, six, spotting a one-legged homeless man in a wheelchair playing a tin whistle and running after his mum for a coin to give to him.
This was a glimpse of their natures that will become part of my memory of them as I watch them grow from afar.
The past is over, but it is not gone if I remember it.
We cooked breakfast for everyone on Sunday 18 March 2012, then went into town, where there was a science fair.
We said our goodbyes afterwards and I returned home with my wife to the flat, the mess and the quiet.
As I washed up and put away the pots and plates, I thought back over the weekend.
Before beginning this process of remembering, I think there would have been a hint of sadness as the glow of energy and happiness of the weekend started its slow fade.
But now I realised it was different as I reviewed the day and selected the key images that would be the memory tags to pin to my internal calendar.
Adrian, four-years-old, at the science fair, where he had joyfully run from experiment to experiment, having his photograph taken dressed in a white lab coat and over-sized goggles.
Simon, six, spotting a one-legged homeless man in a wheelchair playing a tin whistle and running after his mum for a coin to give to him.
This was a glimpse of their natures that will become part of my memory of them as I watch them grow from afar.
The past is over, but it is not gone if I remember it.
Monday, 19 March 2012
Thanks for the memory
After a week of feeling this process of remembering every day that passes was reaching a natural end, I was given a boost last weekend by the rewards it brings.
Friends from Southbeach visited and on Saturday 17 March 2012 we went to Easton, calling in at a nearby deer park first for a walk.
One of my friends asked when I had last been there and was impressed that I was able to say immediately, 14 January.
My wife and I took our friends to the café we had eaten at that day. I had made a point of remembering the car park options and so we were able to discuss whether two hours in the short stay car park would be enough, or whether we needed the more distant, but cheaper, long stay.
I remembered where we had sat in the café and what we had eaten. Perhaps not too remarkable as it was only two months ago, but my wife didn't remember and asked if I could.
This memory successs was a stark contrast to reminiscing about our friends' last visits. We tried to remember when we had visited the nearby town of Sanver. I had it down as years ago, but it was only last year. I have added a memory tag to my mental calendar for 2011 so I should remember that visit more accurately in future.
Friends from Southbeach visited and on Saturday 17 March 2012 we went to Easton, calling in at a nearby deer park first for a walk.
One of my friends asked when I had last been there and was impressed that I was able to say immediately, 14 January.
My wife and I took our friends to the café we had eaten at that day. I had made a point of remembering the car park options and so we were able to discuss whether two hours in the short stay car park would be enough, or whether we needed the more distant, but cheaper, long stay.
I remembered where we had sat in the café and what we had eaten. Perhaps not too remarkable as it was only two months ago, but my wife didn't remember and asked if I could.
This memory successs was a stark contrast to reminiscing about our friends' last visits. We tried to remember when we had visited the nearby town of Sanver. I had it down as years ago, but it was only last year. I have added a memory tag to my mental calendar for 2011 so I should remember that visit more accurately in future.
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